I love writing for Jenna. She's probably my first truly original character (in that she isn't really based on anyone I know), and she truly has her own style, in and out of game. That's why her deck feels so random: she just kind of threw all of her favorite cards together. And yet it somehow works! Obviously her deck has a few original cards in it, but even without them, for a casual game, this deck isn't actually too bad.
Jenna is also tied to a few of my other characters. She knows most of the Duel Force members pretty well, is John's student, is probably Sarah's best friend at this point, and is just overall the closest thing I have to a second generation Duel Force member. It makes the team feel more like a living, changing thing. We'll get more of this in the next book, and in the upcoming sequel series.
Chapter Twenty
Jenna vs. Number Four
Jenna
I faced off with the intimidating-looking Kirk Dixon. I’d hoped to draw things out some more and get more information from our would-be opponents, but then Kris had gone and jumped head first into the situation without more than a single thought, as she tended to do. I looked my opponent over. He looked back, condescendingly. He was absolutely sure that he had me beaten already, I could just tell. I wondered for a second if this room could be some kind of trap, but the description of the situation that Kirk and Tilla had recounted to us seemed accurate looking at our surroundings, and Kirk Dixon was indeed already standing on his trigger pad. How could it be a trap? No, Kirk was just sure he would win against me, that was all.
“I have to say, I’m disappointed,” Kirk told me, “I was really hoping that one of the better-known members of the Duel Force would end up my opponent.”
“Why,” I asked him, trying to channel a bit of my old Duel Monsters teacher’s signature attitude, “are you worried that you won’t be able to beat one of us unless you’ve seen us duel first and know all of our moves?”
“Of course not,” Kirk Dixon replied, looking amused. “I’m not so weak that I have to study an opponent’s play style in order to beat them. I just mean that I was hoping to face someone who was worth defeating.”
“I’ll show you who’s worth defeating,” I told him.
It wasn’t my best comeback ever.
Kirk laughed, “Alright then, little girl, let’s see what you’ve got!”
He drew five cards, and then one more to begin his first turn, “I set one card, and one monster.”
He’s playing it safe, I thought. If this were coming from a weaker player, someone who wasn’t a Card Professor, I might say he was worried, but it’s really more likely that he has a specific plan that he wants to execute. If I act fast, maybe I can disrupt that plan.
“For my turn,” I began, “I summon one of my favorite monsters, the fearsome ‘Gyaku-Gire Panda’, a Beast who gains five hundred Attack for every monster you control, and deals Piercing damage.”
My long-clawed panda monster appeared at my side with a roar (ATK: 800 -> 1300).
“My monster attacks!” I commanded, and the ‘Panda’ charged, swiping angrily. My opponent’s monster, a sort of robotic tanks with legs instead of treads, appeared and deflected my monster’s claws without effort (DEF: 1800).
“It seems like my monster is too tough for yours to handle,” Kirk remarked casually. “Now you lose Life Points (8000 -> 7500). Also, because my monster was revealed, its flip-effect activates, and I get to search my deck for a certain monster.”
I single card slid far enough out of my opponent’s deck for Kirk to pull it out and add it to his hand. I frowned. Despite my efforts, Kirk’s plan seemed to be going off without a hitch.
“I’m not finished yet,” I told him, setting two cards, “I set two face-downs.”
“That’s fine,” Kirk told me. He drew to begin his next turn, “I draw, and I reveal my ‘Interdimensional Matter Transporter’, removing my monster, the ‘Machina Defender’ from play for the rest of the turn.”
Machina? I thought, even as a device appeared and scanned the ‘Defender’, causing it to blink out of existence. I’d heard the term before, but I couldn’t place it.
“This means,” Kirk explained, “that I can summon my ‘Machina Soldier’, and since I control no monsters when I do, I can Special Summon ‘Machina Sniper’ as well.”
Two humanoid robots appeared, one carrying a combat knife, and the other propping a long-barreled rifle on his shoulder (ATK: 1500/ATK: 1800).
Machina, I thought again, looking these new monsters over, I think I remember these things now! John told me about them. They’re an archetype with a super monster, a magnet monster similar to ‘Valkyrion the Magna Warrior’, or John’s ‘VWXYZ - Dragon Catapult Cannon’!
“Your monsters are pretty strong,” I said, faking ignorance as to the nature of my opponent’s cards, “but now that you control two monsters, my ‘Panda’ grows stronger as well (1300 -> 1800). Unless you plan on sacrificing your ‘Sniper’ to kill it, my ‘Panda’ gets to stick around.”
“Unless I have a ‘Union Attack’ Spell card,” Kirk replied.
“But you don’t have a ‘Union Attack’ Spell card,” I said hopefully. Kirk smirked and shook his head. I frowned, “Aw, crap.”
Kirk played his Spell, and his monsters attacked together. The ‘Soldier’ lunged and grappled with the ‘Panda’, while the ‘Sniper’ lined up his shot. I barely had time to spring my Trap, “Reveal, Relieve Monster!”
The ‘Sniper’ fired, but just before my ‘Panda’ was hit, he disappeared and was replaced by a giant insect with near-humanoid proportions, who took the hit instead.
“Ha,” I proclaimed, “the monster you destroyed was my ‘Flying Kamakiri’. When he’s destroyed, I get to summon a Wind monster from my deck. I summon the parody fairy ‘Soitsu’!”
A tiny, featureless green fairy appeared, standing aback a paper airplane that hung in the air, his arms held out to his sides (ATK: 0).
Kirk laughed, “Interesting card. I didn’t think anyone actually used those monsters. I can’t imagine why any serious Duelist would.
“Well, anyway,” he concluded, “I end my turn, and my ‘Defender’ returns.”
There was a shimmer in the air, and the tank monster appeared beside its companions.
“You shouldn’t insult my monster,” I told Kirk. “You’ll make him and his friend angry.”
“His friend?”
“Oh,” I mocked, “you didn’t know? You talked about ‘those monsters’ like you knew all about them, so I just assumed that you knew that they were union monsters.”
“What?” Kirk asked, sounding worried for the first time.
“That’s right,” I continued, drawing my card to begin my turn, “I summon ‘Doitsu’ to the field as well.”
A yellow parody fairy appeared, identical to ‘Soitsu’ except that it was overweight and carrying an open lunch box. When he saw that a battle was going on, he tossed the lunch box aside and flexed his tiny arms.
“I unionize my monsters,” I declared, and my monsters hovered together and locked hands, “forming ‘Soitsu Doitsu’ (ATK: 2500). My monster attacks!”
My monsters spiralled through the air, bearing down on Kirk’s monsters. Kirk smiled, “Nice try, really, but it’s not enough. I reveal ‘Intruder Alert - Yellow Alert’, summoning a monster from my hand to take the place of the attack target. I choose to summon the ‘Caterpillar Tank’.”
A large, heavily-armed tank appeared in the path of my monsters. It fired its weapons, blowing ‘Doitsu’ away, but leaving ‘Soitsu’ unharmed (7500 -> 7300).
I looked at my hand, I don’t have anything left that will make a difference at this point.
I frowned, “I end my turn.”
“Good,” said Kirk. “Then it’s about time we stepped this duel up a bit. I summon the card that I added to my hand with ‘Machina Defender’’s effect, my ‘Commander Covington’.”
A fourth robot, with armor shaped to resemble an old-style military commander’s uniform, appeared alongside the others (ATK: 1000).
“While I control ‘Covington’,” Kirk explained, “I can have him order the other Machinas to combine together into my own ‘union’ monster.”
Oh no!
‘Covington’ gestured, and the bodies of the other machines broke apart and reformed into one giant robot armed with both the ‘Sniper’’s rifle, and the ‘Defender’’s missile pods (ATK: 4600).
“W-what,” I blurted, “it has how much Attack?”
“My ‘Machina Force’,” Kirk Dixon explained, “is one of the strongest monsters in the entire game. He’s so strong that I have to play a cost just to have him attack. I pay that cost right now (8000 -> 7000)!”
The massive monster took aim at my ‘Soitsu’. Its attack wouldn’t be enough to defeat me yet, but it would leave me really weak, with little time to make a comeback.
“Reveal,” I declared, “the Trap card ‘Roll Out!’. I unionize ‘Doitsu’ in the graveyard with ‘Soitsu’ on the field (ATK: 0 -> 2500).”
The second parody fairy appeared, and the two monsters counterattacked together. ‘Doitsu’ was blown away again (7300 -> 5200).
“In that case, now that your monster is back down to its more manageable zero Attack,” Kirk explained, “‘Covington’ attacks him and finishes him off.”
‘Covington’ drew a pistol and shot my monster, destroying him instantly (5200 -> 4200).
This isn’t looking good, I realized, but as I drew my next card to begin my next turn, I got an idea, but things could start looking up any time now.
“For my turn,” I declared, “I just summon my ‘Gyaku-Gire Panda’ back to the field and attack ‘Covington’.”
My beast reappeared with a roar (ATK: 1800), and it slashed the ‘Commander’ with his claws, tearing him apart. Kirk took his first points of battle damage (7000 -> 6200).
“Your ‘Panda’ is even less a threat to me than it was before,” Kirk said dismissively. “I play ‘Machine Conversion Factory’, and I attack your monster!”
I heard gears clicking inside the body of the giant robot (4600 -> 4900). ‘Machina Force’ raised his gun and fired (6200 -> 5200), and my ‘Panda’ was torn apart in a hail of bullets (4200 -> 600).
“And that,” Kirk gloated, “ends my turn, and your chances of winning this duel.”
I smiled, “I learned to duel from one of the best Duelists around, the former leader of the Duel Force, John Sieger, and he taught me that the only way to take away your opponent’s chance to win is to take away his Life Points, and that you shouldn’t give up until your Life Points are gone.”
I drew, Oh yes!
“Activate,” I declared, “the Spell card ‘Graceful Charity’.”
I drew three cards and discarded two, Oh, double yes!
“Looks like things are going to go my way after all,” I said confidently. “I was worried for a second. I play ‘Star Blast’, paying five hundred Life Points (600 -> 100) to decrease the level of a monster in my hand by one, to four. And I summon it, the original parody fairy, ‘Aitsu’!”
A red parody fairy appeared, hovering at my side.
“Next,” I continued, “I play ‘Monster Reborn’ to revive one of the monsters that I discarded, the second parody fairy, ‘Aitsu’’s companion, ‘Koitsu’.”
A blue parody fairy appeared as well.
“Finally,” I said, “I play ‘Wall of Weakness’ to summon two monster from my Graveyard with five hundred or lower Attack and Defense! Come on, ‘Soitsu’ and ‘Doitsu’!”
The green and yellow parody fairies appeared as well, and Kirk looked pretty nervous, exclaiming, “There are four of those things?”
“Oh yeah,” I told him, “and just like they can act together in pairs, when they are all out at once, they can all team up together!”
I gestured at the ceiling, and my monsters launched themselves upward, circling around each other, “Contact Fusion! Form up ‘The Ultimate Super Stupendous Aitsu-Koitsu-Soitsu-Doitsu!!’!”
“The what?!” Kirk demanded, watching as my monsters all locked hands in a circle and glowed with a white light (ATK: 5000).
“Attack,” I commanded, “with Ultra Spiral Drill Eeney,” I slashed down diagonally with my fingers from left to right, “Meeney,” I slashed vertically, “Miney,” I slashed downward diagonally from right to left, “Moe,” I slashed horizontally.
My four monsters spun in tight formation, like a drill, and bore into Kirk’s monster, who struggled to hold them back.
“I send ‘Honest’ from my hand to the Graveyard,” I declared, “to increase the Attack of my monster by the Attack of yours!”
My monsters glowed with a golden light, with a rainbow aura, and they shot forward, ripping straight through Kirk’s monster like a hot knife through butter (5200 -> 200).
“And,” I explained, “when ‘The Ultimate Super Stupendous Aitsu-Koitsu-Soitsu-Doitsu!!’ destroys a monster, he deals damage to its controller equal to his Defense.”
The four fairies flashed again with light that matched their individual colors, and spectral versions of each of them split off, diving through Kirk one after another like shining spears (200 -> 0).
I looked over and saw that Kris had won her duel as well, and I said, “Alright, now let us go!”
“You’re more impressive than I expected,” Kirk Dixon praised, “but I’m sorry, we can’t let you go either way.”
He went on the explain to us how we had been trapped, and then he and his companion disappeared, leaving us there alone.
Card of the Day:
The Ultimate Super Stupendous Aitsu-Koitsu-Soitsu-Doitsu!!
Played by: Jenna
This is pretty definitely the most ridiculous card I have ever made, but to be fair, the monsters that make it are pretty ridiculous too, based on a truly ridiculous Konami video game called Parodious that I have very little experience with, but which made a huge impact on me. The name of this thing's attack, Ultra Spiral Drill Eeney Meeney Miney Moe is based on some trivia on these guys that I found that suggests that eeney meeney miney moe is the closest translation that exists to these guys' names. I don't know is this is true, but I like it either way.
It is actually pretty thought out. This thing's Attack is the attack bonuses of the two union monsters, rounded down by 500 so that it isn't even more crazy than it already is. Its defense is the total defense of the base monsters. It is Light Attribute because it combines the other attributes/colors together, and all colors together, in terms of colored light, makes white/light. Oh, also, I made the image for this thing myself. It isn't the most impressive photo-manipulation that I've ever seen, but I'm really proud of it nonetheless.
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