Beating Up Some Jerkbags Using Trading Cards, Part 2
Jenna
“Alright,” I told my weird, jittery opponent, “your deck’s totally out there, and I’m having trouble pegging your strategy down, but I ain’t gonna let that break my momentum. I summon ‘U.F.O. Turtle’!”
“Hold on!” Snap exclaimed so suddenly that I jumped. My monster, a green tortoise with a flying saucer for a shell appeared as Snap declared, “Reveal Counter Trap ‘Forced Back’! My Trap negates your monster’s summoning and returns it to your hand.”
My monster turned to light and rejoined its card, which I picked up off of the Duel Disk.
“And,” Snap continued, “another ‘Seraphim Token’ is summoned.”
Another of Snap’s tiny fairies appeared (DEF: 200).
“I was hoping for that,” I said, glad that my opponent had finally done something that I’d expected him to. “Now my ‘Panda’ grows even stronger!”
The ‘Panda’ roared and flexed its arms as well as its free claws (ATK: 2300). “As I explained before, my ‘Panda’ has the power to pierce your defenses and damage your Life, so summon all of the weak monsters you want. ‘Panda’ attack!” ‘Gyaku-Gire Panda’ charged forward and swung his powerful paw at the ‘Cat of Ill Omen’. The feline didn’t react in the slightest.
“I reveal,” said Snap, decisive but still erratic-sounding, “my second ‘Negate Attack’!”
A second vortex, identical to the one from so recently, appeared and repelled my ‘Panda’ in the same matter as before.
Dammit!
“And now,” Snap explained, “another Token is summoned!”
The newest Token monster appeared alongside the others. Crap! I thought. I’m a good Duelist, but there are some strategies that even good Duelists have to figure out before they can do anything about it. This guy’s strategy is one of ‘em. Maybe if I were a better Duelist I’d have figured it out by now. Right now all I can do is try to be as prepared as I can...
“I finish my turn with a face-down card.”
“Perfect!” Snap practically sang, his voice warbling. “I draw, and I also set a card. Next I play ‘Card of Sanctity’. We each draw until we hold six cards!”
We drew. Snap looked over his new hand and snickered excitedly. He had no poker face.
“I set a monster,” Snap continued, “and change the ‘Cat of Ill Omen’ to defense mode. I set another card and round out my turn with ‘Dark Room of Nightmare’.”
My opponent smiled, a corner of his mouth twitching along with the corresponding eye, creeping my out, but it didn’t matter, because I could see it now. Yes, he was erratic, but he wasn’t crazy. Everything that Snap had done so far was part of his strategy. And thanks to his most recent play, I knew what that strategy was, at least in theory.
He went from just using a lot of Traps, to using Traps to summon monsters, and now he’s activated ‘Dark Room’. I think he’s actually managed to combine Traps and Tokens with a Monster Burn strategy. If I’m right, then I only have one chance!
“It’s my move,” I declared, my confidence renewed. “I begin by summoning my ‘Allure Queen LV3’! She can mesmerize one monster per turn and bring it over to her side.”
An elegantly dressed, highly enticing young woman appeared at my side. She made a circle in the air with her fingertip, creating a floating fireball which danced around the ‘Cat of Ill Omen”s head, drawing it away from one master and toward another.
“If you want to take my monster,” said Snap, “then I demand your Life in exchange! I reveal ‘Solar Ray’, allowing each of my Light monsters to burn away six hundred of your Life Points. This damage combines with the power of ‘Dark Room’ and becomes even greater!”
Snap’s three tiny fairies began to glow with power as his Trap revealed.
One chance!
“I was ready for that. Reveal ‘Seven Tools of the Bandit’ (8000-1000=7000)!”
“Not bad,” Snap allowed, “but I can more than easily counter your counter. I pay half of my Life Points to reveal ‘Solemn Judgment’!”
Snap’s Life drained away (8000/2=4000), but it was worth it. My Counter Trap was negated, another Token was summoned to Snap’s field, and all four of his fairies unleashed their energy in the form of powerful beams of light (7000-2400-300=4300).
“My attack!” I declared, visibly shaken by my opponent’s massive attack. “I’ll have my ‘Panda’ attack your face-down monster (‘Panda’ ATK: 3300).”
My monster charged and raised his claws. My opponent’s monster was revealed to be a living jet fighter with a cartoonish face, ‘Jetroid’ (DEF: 1800).
“When ‘Jetroid’ is attacked,” Snap explained, “I can play any Trap from my hand. Like my second ‘Solar Ray’!”
The jet was smashed by the ‘Panda”s angry claws (4000+1800-3300=2500), just as the four ‘Seraphim Tokens’ rose up and unleashed another beam of light that washed over me. The last one had been enough to singe my clothes and skin, and this beam was enough to bring me to my knees with a whimper (4300-2400-300=1600).
John, I thought, if this is what all Shadow Games feel like, then I think I get why you never wanted me fighting in them. But I’m not weak. I’m gonna beat this guy, no matter how much it hurts!
I stumbled to my feet, “I’m not out of this yet! My ‘Allure Queen’ attacks and destroys one of the Token monsters.”
“You really should have done that earlier,” Snap taunted, as my ‘Queen’ released a fireball that blew one of the tiny fairies apart. I only glared at Snap. He knew I understood my mistake.
“Now,” I said, struggling with the desperation in my voice, “I set two cards, and...and pass.”
“You seem uncertain,” said Snap arrogantly.
“Attack me and find out,” I taunted, but I sounded unsure.
“I already made clear in my first turn,” Snap countered, “that I won’t take your bait.”
He drew, “It’s time I finished this duel the best way I know how! I summon ‘Makyura the Destructor’, and I’ll command him to attack!”
“I won’t let you get away with that,” I said. “I protect my ‘Queen’ with ‘Waboku’!” Snap smiled wickedly, “Who said I was attacking the ‘Queen’?”
‘Makyura’, an armored demon with large claw weapons attacked to its arms, wearing a purple-black helm adorned with spikes and the symbol of an Egyptian wdjat eye (ATK: 1600), rushed not at the weaker ‘Allure Queen’, but at the stronger ‘Gyaku-Gire Panda’ (ATK: 2800)!
“But wait. That means-!”
My ‘Panda’ crushed the assailant under his powerful paw (2500+1600-2800 =1300).
“Exactly,” Snap replied, “because ‘Makyura’ was added to the Graveyard, I can activate Trap cards from my hand until the end of the turn! I play ‘Ceasefire’ and chain the Trap monster ‘Zoma the Spirit’!”
A demonic creature rose from the ground at Snap’s side.
“There are three Effect monsters on the field,” Snap explained, “so ‘Ceasefire’ deals a base of fifteen hundred damage. Combined with the three hundred from my Spell, it’s more than enough to kill you!”
Energy poured from my two monsters and Snap’s Trap monster, forming a massive energy ball in the sky. The energy discharged, engulfing me, obscuring me from my opponent’s view.
“Die, girl!” Snap cried, laughing maniacally. He knew he’d won.
Wasn’t he surprised!
As his Trap attack ended, shock filled my opponent’s face, “That’s not possible!”
“Oh yeah,” I replied from where I stood behind a glowing barrier, all semblance of doubt gone from my voice and expression, “it definitely is. Thanks to my ‘Pikeru’s Circle of Enchantment’, I’m immune to all effect damage for the remainder of the turn. Looks like you fell into my Trap after all!”
“You!” Snap explained angrily. “You made me believe that you were helpless against my strategy so that I’d commit my resources too early!”
“If you weren’t so crazy,” I replied, “I’d say something snappy like ‘I’m surprised you didn’t figure that out earlier’. Now, get ready. I draw,” I pulled my newest card, “and my ‘Allure Queen’ levels up!”
‘Cat of Ill Omen’ disappeared, and ‘Allure Queen’ grew into a slightly more mature and more attractive version of herself.
“I summon ‘Mother Grizzly’,” I continued, the bluish-furred bear appearing alongside the ‘Panda’, “and reveal ‘Ultimate Offering’. I pay one thousand Life and tribute all three of my monsters to summon ‘Aitsu’ and ‘Koitsu’, my ultimate cards!”
My three monsters disappeared, and they were replaced by two tiny humanoid creatures. Both were featureless, and both stood upon levitating, magic paper airplanes. You wouldn’t be able to tell them apart, except for that fact that ‘Aitsu’ (ATK: 100) was red, and ‘Koitsu’ (ATK: 200) was blue.
“My monsters are weak separately,” I explained, “but they can unionize together and form a power unlike any other!”
My monsters clasped hands, “Attack with the union spiral, Spiral Dive-bomb!”
My monsters dove in a tight spiral (ATK: 3100), ripping straight through Snap’s monsters, shattering them, dealing piercing damage. Snap’s Life Points were reduced to zero, and he fell to his knees. I walked toward him and stood over him. “Here,” Snap pleaded, holding a heavily scratched black metal coin up to me, “take my Shadow Item. Just don’t hurt me!”
I took the coin, feeling its power adding to my Shadow Baton’s. I knew what to do, even though I’d never done it and I’d only barely noticed Amanda do it to her opponent at the end of their duel. I knew, because my opponent deserved to forget, and my Shadow Items wanted to give him what he deserved. I held my palm up to Snap’s forehead, “This probably won’t hurt. Too bad. But what’re ya gonna do? Snap, it’s time to forget it all. Forget magic and Shadow Items. Penalty Game, Mind Wipe!”
Kris
“It is my turn,” Warp declared assertively. “Dealing me twelve hundred damage with your Trap last turn was a decent touch, but ultimately futile. I control the field now, and you’re wide open, just as I planned.”
Warp drew to begin his turn, “Reveal ‘Level Conversion Lab’. This lets me assign a monster in my hand a random Level from one to six. If the monster’s Level becomes one, my little experiment fails and the monster becomes weak and dies, but if any other number comes up, my monster is assigned that Level until the end of the turn.”
Warp chose his card and held it out. A pedestal topped with a monitor appeared at his side, flashing random numbers, until it stopped suddenly on three. Warp revealed his monster, “My monster is ‘Gravity Behemoth’!
“I summon my monster now,” Warp declared, and his monster, a massive black beast with curved horns and an armored body, appeared standing behind him (ATK: 2300). “My monster attacks directly with Gravity Crush Claw!”
‘Gravity Behemoth’ slashed with its massive claws, releasing waves of gravitic energy that collected around me, increasing the effect of gravity on my body. I fell to my knees as my body became so heavy that I was nearly crushed under my own weight (8000-2300=5700). Just when I thought I was going to start to cry, the energy from ‘Behemoth”s attack dissipated.
“Nice try,” I said, rising shakily to my feet, trying to keep the pain out of my voice, “but if my plan works (and I think it will) then you lose this turn.”
“There is no way that a Duelist with a deck like yours and with your inexperience could defeat me in one turn,” Warp insisted. “For there to even be a chance, your deck would have to be structured perfectly.”
I smiled, “Maybe it is.” I drew, “I activate ‘Graceful Charity’ to draw three cards and discard two.”
I drew again, So far so good! I just need one more card.
“Next up,” I continued, “I play ‘Pot of Greed’ to draw two more cards!”
I drew yet again, and I could feel my face light up as I looked at my newest acquisition. I didn’t even attempt to conceal my excitement.
“Oh yeah! Kiss your Life Points goodbye! I play ‘Fusion Recovery’, returning ‘Polymerization’ and ‘Roboyarou’ in my Grave to my hand. But I don’t need ‘Roboyarou’, just ‘Poly’. So I ditch the android and remove a card in my Grave from play, activating the effect of that card, my ‘Junk Recoverer’! This lets me return any Machine monster in my Grave to my hand. I choose the ‘Barrel Dragon’ that I discarded due to the effect of ‘Graceful Charity’.”
A card ejected from my Graveyard compartment. Several old, run-down components appeared, assembling into a robot with the head of a TV. It took the ejected card from the Graveyard and handed it to me, before falling apart yet again.
“I play ‘Polymerization’,” I declared, “to merge ‘Barrel Dragon’ and ‘Blowback Dragon’ in my hand into the mighty ‘Gatling Dragon’!”
A massive robotic dragon with a revolver for a head and for each arm appeared alongside a second dragon with an automatic pistol for a head and body. The two merged in a flash of light into a wicked-looking mechanical dragon with huge wheels instead of legs, a Gatling gun for a head, and a Gatling gun for each hand, appearing with a roar.
“Now say bye-bye, because my ‘Gatling Dragon’ won’t be here long.” I chose another on-hand card, “I play ‘De-Fusion’ to separate my monster, summoning the base monsters to the field!”
The ‘Gatling Dragon’ split into his component monsters. They appeared in the space behind me with a chorus of mechanical-sounding cries (Barrel Dragon ATK: 2600/Blowback Dragon ATK: 2300).
“This can’t be!” Warp exclaimed. “You must have based your strategy on this play all along!”
“Oh,” I said, “it can be, and I did. And this isn’t everything. I said I was going to destroy you this turn, and my monsters can’t do that as they are. So I’ll play my final card, ‘Limiter Removal’!”
Warp’s eyes went wide as auras appeared around my monsters. Gears ground and clanked inside their metal bodies, and their power doubled (2600x2=5200/2300x2 =4600).
“No,” Warp whimpered one final time.
I smiled, “Yes! My dragons attack!”
‘Barrel Dragon’ fired his revolvers, tearing lethal holes through the body of the ‘Behemoth’ and carrying through. ‘Blowback Dragon’ fired a massive bullet of its own. The two attacks blasted my opponent, throwing him onto his back with a loud THUD! He passed out. Two minutes ago, Warp would have been a serious threat to anyone he encountered. By the time he woke up, he wouldn’t even remember how to be.
Card of the Day:
Pikeru's Circle of Enchantment
Played by: Jenna
I love writing duels for Jenna. Her deck is crazy, and it gets crazier over time. It's fun, because she is the only one of my characters who actively changes her deck around, so I can put pretty much any card into it that I want whenever I want. The only staples are "Gyaku-Gire Panda", the Parodius Fairies (i.e. "Aitsu" and "Koitsu"), and, after this duel, "Pikeru"-themed cards. I just liked the resolution of Jenna's duel that much. Later on, in an upcoming book, she'll add another staple to her deck, but we'll see that when we see it.
Original Cards in This Chapter:
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